29 April 2005


tonight i ate dinner at sean's parent's house. when i got there it was happy hour, which included a whole party by the time i got there. dad, grandma and grandpa oldroyd, grandma dunn, evan and joni, and jerry and missy. (jerry is evan's best friend, and missy is his wife. sean was gone working and mom was at a church meeting.) everyone is in town for the big day tomorrow...amanda's graduation! so after happy hour ended evan, joni, jerry, and missy all took off to go out to dinner, while the rest of us set the table for dinner.
dinner was wonderful. it was only clark (sean's dad) and all the grandparents, and myself. grandma dunn (charlotte) told stories of being a little girl, and of the depression, and of her late husband hampton. grandpa oldroyd told stories about his mom and dad and his grandparents. grandma oldroyd was a constant commentary on the evening, and on the cats, and of the day, etc, etc.
i felt so blessed. i simply soaked in the stories of my new family. they won't be around forever, and i love spending time with them. i love that i get to know his grandparents, and listen to their stories, and know about their lives. and i feel so honored the way that they pour out their love to me. when i came into the house tonight grandma dunn was in the other room so she didn't know that i hard arrived. once she noticed she said (now you have to say this in a little old ladies voice...but a little old SOUTHERN ladies voice) , "ohhhhh. .. well when did you get here? well you just come over here and give me a hug."
i love my husband, and my life is overflowing with the blessings of family.


on thrusdays i open the restaurant with matt. every thursday he asks me if i'm tired. (from my morning job). and i always ask him if he enjoyed mall day. (he delivers water during the day, and two thursdays a month he has to deliver to the giant mall, which he despises.) a little before 500 when we open the restaurant i always ask Sean and matt, "hey guys what do you wanna run tonight?" meaning what special sauce would like like to sell/make that night. matt never really chooses he simply makes a sarcastic joke about the fact that we tend to run the same sauce over and over and over. sean always chooses. yet still, we ask the same questions every week. this is thursdays.

26 April 2005

the theme of the day: i am a moron

heidi works at the restaurant. she's wonderful, full of life, very funny, easy going, tell-it-like-it-is kind of a girl. i enjoy working with her. so the other day, at job numero uno, everything i touched i felt was a disaster. everything kept leaping out of my hands and crashing to the floor. drinks were spilling, milk was steamed to overflow and scalded. my head felt like one big fog. and i felt as if i was in an awful never-ending marry-go-round of a work day. and this was all on top of the fact that i HAD to find someone to cover my shift so that i could see my sister graduate. (well sister-in-law...but that sounds so sterile.) when my shift ended i proceeded..or should i say attempted to write a note to one of my fellow co-workers to try and beg him to cover my shift for graduation. and i was a bit of the way through when i wanted to use the sentence, "i'm sorry i realize i'm a moron and forgot to ask for the day off." except for the fact that i couldn't remember how to spell moron. right then and there i decided, enough is enough. i mean there's feeling like you're stupid and then there's feeling like you're stupid. but when you can't spell moron? i hope someone sees the humor. well, i had two choices....i could wallow in my self-pity and STUpidity, or i could just laugh about it. well one doesn't just go 21 years not knowing how to spell and not think it's funny. so obviously i saw the humor. and what did i do? well what everyone should. i explained the situation to just about every one of my fellow co-workers, prefacing it with the fact that apparently "the theme of the day is, I AM A MORON." it made people laugh, as i hoped that it would. when i arrived at job numero dos of course i proceeded to tell heidi about it. she laughed and we shared some more stories about our complete and utter failures in life. she doesn't think less of me because of my moron story...she simply appreciates the truth and laughter about life. as do i. i mean, who knows if i've even spelt it right yet.

man, and i was gunna play my harmonica

(this started out as a post about what tv shows sean and i watch, but crap man...that was so boring. so i erased it...and this is what came out next.)
i wish i had something more exciting to post about this evening, but apparently this is as exciting as it's getting today. i really have nothing witty, intelligent, minorly entertaining, sarcastic or overly dramatic to say.

i look forward to wednesday. every monday and wednesday sean and i eat breakfast together. i love breakfast. i love sitting at a table with someone else who's sleepy eyed and has bedhead. there's no other meal that's as intimite as breakfast. you really get them, no frills, no make up, just pj's and bedhead. and sometimes bad breath. breakfast is true love. love is just flowing from person to person, and everyone's too tired to cover up the things that they later hide from the world, or each other. people are more gentle with eachother. some things i feel are just good in life. breakfast is simply, and quietly...good.

tomorrow we buy fish.

do this

everyone should read the book HOUSE ON MANGO STREET by sandra cisneros, or anything by her. a short story, anything. she is amazing, thought provoking, makes you look at life in a new way. real life, not pretty life, not ugly life, just real life. she is brilliant. go, read, be changed.

25 April 2005

day off

the long awaited day. the day off. i struggle with the day off, mostly because i realize that we really only have one each week, and therefore MOST of my life is not a day off. i don't want to live for the day off, i don't want to simply skip 6/7th's of my life simply waiting for the 1/7th. alas, i really enjoy the day off.

so what did i do with the day off? well...i slept in. then sean and i drove to a lady's house to pick up a dining room table she was giving to us. after that we headed off to go to the restaurant. sean had to pull some things from the freezer and put them in the fridge. we stopped off at chipolte to share a burrito (couldn't eat whole ones because we were meeting grandma and the parents for dinner). we stopped at a card shop to buy some cards for amanda's graduation then next we headed to bookends to grab a cup of coffee, where we met scott allen outside writing and watching the hand-stand girl on the pearl street mall. there wasn't much time to talk because of dinner with grandma. when we finally arrived to meet grandma she was of course excited (as were we). she had made dinner for sean, myself, and mom and dad. and there was some mumblings between grandma and mom either about that grandma had HAD a dream, or that in her dream-world sean would sit down at the table and eat the meal and say, "OH GRANDMA, that was so wonderful. i want to get the recipe from you." mostly i enjoy this thought because well...for a few reasons. the first being, doesn't it kind of make sean sound like a 1950's housewife? and two, of course sean would love anything that his grandma made for him. after dinner sean and i collected the fish tank that the parents were giving to us and headed home.

at home kenna was VERY interested in the new fish tank that sean and i were setting up. even hours after it was set up (no fish in it yet mind you) she would run to it and watch it intently, while clawing it with one paw. so since she had gotten herself all wound-up about the fish tank she was equally as spazzy about everything else in the house. mostly but not only...the cat. no matter what command we gave her, it all ended up the same...kenna would run and bite the cat. very odd. it was during this moment that my husband decided to sing something which went like, "matilda, matilda, matilda, matilda!" why, well...no one is sure. it was short, and he only really went through what i can assume to be a few verses before coming to an abrupt ending. all this going on while the cat is running around the house like a maniac. he's been acting strange lately. and by strange i mean behaviors such as: biting the wall and refusing to stop no matter what i did, and trying to gnaw on the floor...why we're not sure. and yes before you ask he is being fed. a few days ago he lost his collar and so he's had to be inside. which causes everyone to go crazy, mostly sean and i. today we bought him a new collar...we debated for a while about buying him a pastely pink collar just to spite him, however reconsidered on the basis that then everyone would simply think him a girl, and settled on maroon. i realize it may sound mean to do something simply to spite your animal, but i feel it is necessary that everyone understand that our cat, although we do love him, is a punk ass.
okay, humm...that's about it for the day off. short, sweet, and out with a bang.


24 April 2005

who said what?

"it's my experience that folks who have no vices have very few virtues." <-- thoughts? reaction? agree/disagree? who do you think said this?

things to ponder...

okay i just got home from work so try and stay with me here..

well, i realize it's been a bit since i've had a post. i HAD an amazing one, wonderful, a thriller, heart pounding, edge of your seat, tear-jerker, laugh out loud kind of a post...but something happened and the site was down so it just erased my post and pissed me off. therefore, in protest i've refused to post for the past couple weeks. obviously my boycott has done wonders, i'm a real people mover if y'know what i mean.
basically the post was about what books i'm reading, what music i'm listening to, what movies i think are amazing, etc. SO i suppose i'll just give you the really short, and COMPLETELY inadequate version of the above mentioned creme de la creme of posts.
well, right now i'm reading GREAT EXPECTATIONS for humm...probably the 5th time in my life. wow, no that's not true...okay so this is probably the 3rd time. i know, most of you would say that it's boring and strange, or depressing, or that you just don't enjoy dickens. HOWEVER i just love this book. i'm not sure what it is about it, but i just love it.
as far as what i'm listening to...it's all over the place right now. little alkaline trio, an amazing bouncing souls/anti-flag split, maroon 5, modest mouse, flaming lips, death cab for cutie, jimmy eat world (their older stuff prior to bleed american), mike felumlee/dan andriano split, the chinkees, no use for a name, hi-standard, tiger army, madd caddies, u2, miles davis, OH and the soundtrack from garden state, and on and on. of course there's always a little jack, dave, and waterdeep.
and movies, movies, movies...right now hands down, no questions asked, the movie that i think everyone should see is GARDEN STATE. i don't even really want to talk much about it, i just loved it. it was....amazing. check it out, tell me what you think. tell me what you thought of the music. etc, etc.

so there ya have it. there are other things going on in life but we'll get to those later. i mean, common now, we're only getting over the whole boycotting of this thing..we'll see.

again....i'm just not spell checking anymore...takes too much time and simply discourages me from posting at all.

04 April 2005

i should be in bed

i should be in bed. i should be asleep. i wasn't going to post. let's be honest...i don't really ever post. i'm not going to apologize again...because it will only keep hapening. this is just the reality of a blog for me. it will be sparatic. so for those few of you who read this out there...well done, and thanks for stickin' with me.

i should be in bed...i have to get up at 530 tomorrow to work, but such is life. sean is gone up to the cabin with the guys (forrest, alex, capp, mark, scott) so i am home alone. i spent the morning with sean finishing up some grocery shopping for the guys and then i spent the rest of my day with my friend terri. she is a wonderful girl, and we're ridiculously similar in the way we are. she is a true blessing in my life. we spent the day in denver not doing to much, just some window shopping (we are both poor) and got some dinner, then we just hung out here at the house. our house is a mess right now...but she doesn't care. i love when a friendship has that reality to it. terri didn't comment that my house was a mess, not because she didn't notice...but because it's not the reason she likes me. she wasn't concerned that i hadn't washed the breakfast dishes, or that my desk was overflowing, or that i had clothes all over the room. she simply plopped herself down on the bed amidst the chaos and said, "we need more days off".

i am reading a book called THE CURIOUS INCIDENT OF THE DOG IN THE NIGHT-TIME. it's wonderful. i love it, i can't put it down. it is about an autistic boy. he is the one writing to you. i can't even begin to describe why i love it so much....but you should read it. everyone should read it. maybe you'll hate it. maybe you'll not understand. but i love it. it's real. it's life without the frills. it's not depressing, it's just real.

"All the other children at my school are stupid. Except i'm not meant to call them stupud, even though this is what they are. I'm meant to say that they have learning difficulties or that they have special needs. But this is stupid because everyone has learning difficulties because learning to speak French or understanding relativity is diffucult and also everyone has special needs, like Father, who has to carry a little packet of artificial sweetening tablets around with him to put in his coffee to stop him from getting fat, or Mrs. Peters, who wears a beige-colored hearing aid, or Siobhan, who has glasses so thick that they give you a headache if you borrow them, and none of these poeple are Special Needs.
But Siobhan said that we have to use those words because people used to call children like the children at school spaz and crip and mong, which were nasty words. But that is stupid too because sometimes the children from the school down the road see us in the street when we're getting off the bus and they shout, ' Special Needs! Special Needs!' But i don't take any notice because i don't listen to what other people say and only sticks and stones can break my bones and i have my Swiss Army knife if they hit me and if I kill them it will be self-defence and i won't go to prison. " -
the curious incident of the dog in the night-time

i usually would not quote something so large...but i wanted to give you a taste. as i read the book there are moments when he just speaks the truth like above. there are moments where my heart breaks and i just wish that i could hold him. it's a book that makes me laugh out loud, and re-read to laugh again. and as quickly as i was laughing, the next moment i'm in tears. or i feel his claustrophobia, or understand the crowding of incoming information in his brain. it is an insite to autistic children like i've never seen before. a real, in their head kind of view. and i'm floored.

He talks about how he has behavioral problems. and how sometimes he use to worry that his mum and dad were going to get a divorce because they fought often and he says,
"This was because of the stress of looking after someone who has behavioral problems like i have. I used to have lots of Behavioral Problems, but i don't have so many now because i'm more grown up and i can take decisions for myself and do things on my own like going out of the hosue and buying things at the shop at the end of the road.
These are some of my Behavioral Problems:
a. not talking to people for a long time (once i didn't talk for 5 weeks.)
b. not eating or drinking anything for a long time.
c. not liking being touched
d. screaming when i am angry or confused
e. not liking being in really small places with other people
f. smashing things when i'm angry or confused
g. groaning
h. not liking yellow things or brown things and refusing to touch yellow or brown things
i. refusing to use my toothbrush if anyone else has touched it
j. not eating food if different sorts of food are touching eachother
k. not noticing that people are angry with me
l. not smiling
m. saying things that other people think are rude (People say that you always have to tell the truth. but they do not mean this because you are not allowed to tell old people that they are old and you are not allowed to tell people if they smell funny or if a grown-up has made a fart. And you are not allowed to say "I don't like you" unless that person has been horrible to you.)
n. doing stupid things
o. hitting other people
p. hating france
q. driving mother's car
r. getting cross when someone has moved the furniture

i really do need to be in bed. but here's this for what it's worth. what if we were so honest with ourselves and wrote down all our behavioral problems. are we ever that honest with ourselves?

i am not spell checking this post. i hate spell checking. makes me feel stupid.