Impressive

James Harding, editor of The Times Of London, made quite an impression on me in what was probably about a 5 minute or so interview. But what else would you expect?

Magical English Cleaning Techniques Leave American Girl Bemused

I fear that my brilliant packing technique, may leave a bit to be desired. Clearly I am feeling a bit down a rabbit hole, hence my boxes have now started commanding passersby. 

And if it is the case, that you find yourself thinking that any such thing as a flap-lock feature will make your packing any easier, I am hear to tell you, it will not. Despite whatever hoopla they may have printed on a box. Unless flap-lock includes a self-packing feature, which I assure you it does not, it is of no help in anyone's packing endeavours.

If only I had a wand ... or an ingenious finger snapping nanny ...

Yeah. And there's that.

A few things impressed me today.

The Daily Show's coverage of the cover of this weeks The New Yorker - stellar. "We hit the pavement and soon found out that there's impenetrable satire that people might not get, almost everywhere."

And then I saw this. And honestly, it gave me chills. You can say I = Nerdy if you wish. I cannot wait. 

Number fourteen.

It's done. After many a muggy, hot 'n zesty afternoon of looking at apartments we have finally found one. Yesterday we spent a few hours, a few horrible hours, "hoof-n-it" around downtown neighborhoods searching for THE place. The place with the light from heaven shining down on it, and choir of angels singing every time we looked in it's direction, making it abundantly clear that THIS is where we should live. However, all I seemed to discover was a lot of beautiful, quiet, mansion neighborhoods - which would be awesome if we were in that mansion-owning state of life... we are, not exactly there yet. A neighborhood that had a man with a pirate eye, and puddles in the sidewalk where birds were bathing. And a neighborhood with children terrorizing the sidewalks with small bicycles. However, no heaven-light, not even a burnt out heaven-light bulb. Nothing. I left our search, hot, blistery, grumpy, hungry, sweaty, demoralized, disheartened, annoyed, and hot. Also, I was hot. 

Today I received a call from a company where we had put in a rental application. We were finally approved after a little bit of hoopla and they said that they had two apartments for us to look at. After yesterday I was still a bit deflated, and sure that these apartments wouldn't be what we wanted. They were sure to be far inferior apartments. Shoddy. No heaven-light.

Apartment 1. We walked up three flights of stairs through very narrow hallways, and a series of doors. The tenant across the way has some sort of wild car alarm dog that exploded when we reached the end of the hallway. We looked at each other, thinking, "Oh. That's awesome". Apartment 1 was small, but fine. Very small, almost not fine kitchen. Windows that looked out on a parking lot, and to the building next door - not exactly picturesque.

Apartment 2. Not exactly magazine picture worthy neighborhood (read, slightly sketchy).  But it was bigger than most we had looked at. The kitchen was great, big enough for an eat in table. Hardwood floors. Windows facing the street. First floor, only up maybe three or four stairs. These are the things you think of when having to lug your life up and down stairs. Or when remembering, once you got to the car that you don't have your celly. And going back up. And coming back down. Arriving at the car to realize that you left your sunglasses on the table when you picked up the phone. The actual number of stairs becomes important. You're annoyed enough at that point. Really it comes down to a matter of how annoyed, and often this can be measured by number of stairs. Example. I am 4 steps annoyed. Versus, I am 3 flights of stairs, small, hot hallways, and too many doors annoyed. You see? Oh, also, it was the apartment that I had originally wanted. Apparently something had fallen through with the other tenants, or who knows what. Maybe that person was struck down by heaven-light. In either case, they weren't going to rent it. So. We are. We have a new home. Number 14. 

We are within walking distance to our favorite restaurant in Denver, as well as a whole slew of restaurants, pubs, diners and coffee houses. Near a park, near our new best friend, and not far from school. Close to museums and ... not far from the ball park.

I didn't see any heaven-light. But I'm sure it was there. I forgot to look up. 

I didn't even know

That my soul was looking for this book. But it was. Yours might also be. Probably is, you just don't know it yet.

Ay, Dios mio!

Moving. 

I got out the camera to maybe take a few snapshots of the horribleness that is moving. But my experience was as follows:

Where's the camera?!? Oh. There. Man, this new case that Sean found is really great. Open case, take out camera, try and turn it on. Won't turn on. Continue to press the on button like a spaz. Thinking. WHAT!?! Who broke this? What the hell? We just bought this thing! Waahhhh? It was just working. What did Sean do to this thing when he put it in this god awful case. I hate this case. How did it break my camera?!? This case is horrible. Who would ever think of using it for a camera??? Oh. Yeah... I had to charge the battery the other day. Go get the battery from the wall, try and remember how to put it into the camera. Turning the camera over and over and over and not seeing ANYWHERE where a battery of this size could possibly fit. WHAT? Where does this battery go?!? I know I've done this before. It can't be that hard. I'VE-ALREADY-DONE-THIS-BEFORE. What? It's impossible. That's it. No more photos. I can't figure this damn thing out. Oh. There. That's where it goes. Now I just have to slide that thingy open....slide it open....o-p-e-n. WHY WON'T THIS THINGY OPEN!?! UUUhhhhhh. Oh. There. That wasn't that hard. Ok. Now, take the battery out of the charger....how does that go again? Push? No. Pull? No. LIFT! Yeah, I'm all over this. I totally got this under control. Ok. Put battery in. Which way? This way? No. Shove? No that seems like something you're never supposed to do. OHHH, line it up those metal parts. YES! Camera ready to go. Pictures abound! I take a few photos... Uhhh. These photos are terrible. Yuck. I'm not taking photos. 

One of the greatest things about moving. Because there are about 2 things that are awesome about moving. The whole rest of the experience is akin to... nothing. Nothing else reaches the crapload that is moving. So one of the greatest things about moving is that you discover all sorts of odd things. Even if you just moved last year. It's like these things just surface only for moves. Old wallets. Weird toys from your childhood. The other great thing about moving is grander, but we'll get to that later. It's much more philosophical, and a who am I in the universe type of thing. But first, there are a lot of things about moving that suck ass. There is no other way for this to be put. If you are over oohhh say 30-something this does not apply to you. If you don't have to move every couple years or so, you do-not-count. There is something about sorting through every piece of weird crap you own.. organize it, box it, label it, move it, lug it up and down stairs (multiple times) and then un box it, un/re- (but in a different way) organize it. And the fact that you get to look into the future and know that you'll get to dance this dance again in a few months only adds to the grandeur. 

And always everyone is a big fan of "Just get rid of it all!" That's always the advice. Always. "Then you won't have to do all that!" Thanks ass face. That's not really a great option. Why? Well what am I going to get rid of? Our wedding dishes? Our computer? Our clothes? Our food? My art stuff? Our books, which are next to holiness? Pots and pans? Kitchen-aid mixer? Silverware? Our dog? What exactly is it that you think that we can just toss out? Because trust me, we would be all over that. But what is it exactly that you think we should just throw away, or give away? The furniture we're not very attached to, and so we don't care too much about that, but the furniture is the easy stuff to move at this point. It's all these damn boxes that are so horrible. Also, when moving you get to live in boxworld. No one likes box world. The only time box world is strangely appealing is when you finally get everything moved into your new place and you sit on the floor that first night eating pizza by candle light. Other than that, it's mostly just a whole lot of rummaging through, and living in/out of, and sorting boxes until you're hot and sweating, to finally find the holy of hollies box to then realize ,"Oh damnit, this is not the box I was looking for."  Even though it was labeled "bathroom toiletries" the shampoo somehow is not in there. 

Ok. The second thing that is great about moving is that it's exciting. You get to live somewhere new. Somewhere you've never lived before. New neighborhood. New coffee shops. New weirdos. New oddities. New friends. New smells. New sights from the window. New things to be annoyed at. New cracks in the sidewalk to remember. New stairs. New door handles. New. Different. Change. Hope. Not like before. New. This part about moving I like. This part makes all the terrible parts bearable. 

I lied. There are three things about moving that are awesome. This four foot box of shredded paper (read packing material) that is sitting in our living room/dining room/library is pretty incredible. If I were about 20 years younger this would be irresistible. It reminds me of when my friend's father had some giant things (to be left unnamed) delivered to their house and what was left over were g-i-a-n-t wooden crates filled with random odd sized foam pieces. Large enough crates that multiple people could play inside them. Sometimes instead of packing more boxes I just run my hands through the mass of shredded paper. Pick at it. Tear it into smaller pieces. Squish it. Later when it's strewn about our new apartment from the unpacking of the horrible boxes I shall hate this shredded paper. But for now, it and I are on the same team.