superstitions.

i'm not going to say anything because i don't want to jinx it. i'm not even going to think it.

...but what if!

october...

one game back.
if they make it, i'm sure that my grades will suffer. and what the heck does manny corpas write in the dirt before he pitches? he used to make me very nervous, but lately he has been just beautiful.
now we just hope that the padres will be too demoralized to win any more games and that the phillies hit a terrible rut...

last night of summer

last friday night we parked up on pine on the west end, and walked down to pearl street. past the old victorian & craftsman houses, over the cracked sidewalks & past small, overgrown alleyways. walked into nick-n-willy's and ordered a few slices of pizza and sat outside at one of two tables on the sidewalk under the big old tree. we talked about restaurants & how much we liked the west end, how it still felt like an old neighborhood & not pretentious. it was one of those evenings. sun falling behind the flatirons, the sidewalk still warm from the afternoon, but there was a cool wind stirring up & the leaves were starting to turn. a last night of summer night. after pizza we decided to take a little look-see into the west end wine shop across the way, then we turned to walk down pearl street towards the heart of downtown, the pearl street mall. then, in the distance we heard unmistakably, a marching band playing. all of a sudden we were surrounded by the entire university of colorado football team & marching band. the team was throwing small gold footballs out to the kids in the gathering crowd & people were dancing & clapping & cheering for CU. at some point during this i looked at sean and said, "...what town are we in?" once the parade had passed, we continued on past street performers, and i stopped into a coffee shop for an americano. as we walked back up the mall sean bought a hotdog from the vendor on the mall and we sat on a bench and listened to a man dressed up like it was the old west, playing his banjo. it was a completely perfect end of summer night. surreal & enchanting. the way that summer should leave you... ready for change, but clinging to the memories.

you probably didn't know

...that using mustard greens instead of lettuce makes one heck of a sandwich.

i love you

"So many impossible things have already happened in this life. He doesn't think twice when she tells him to get ready: He's about to get a haircut.

He sits in the chair in the upstairs room, the room they sometimes joke and refer to as the library. There's a window there that gives light. Snow's coming down outside as newspapers go down around his feet. She drapes a big towel over his shoulders. Then gets out her scissors, comb, and brush.

This is the first time they've been alone together in a while - with nobody going anywhere, or needing to do anything. Not counting the going to bed with each other. That intimacy. Or breakfasting together. Another intimacy. They both grow quiet and thoughtful as she cuts his hair, and combs it, and cuts some more. The snow keeps falling outside. Soon, light begins to pull away from the window. He stares down, lost and musing, trying to read something from the paper. She says, "Raise your head." And he does. And then she says, "See what you think of it." He goes to look in the mirror, and it's fine. It's just the way he likes it, and he tells her so.

It's later, when he turns on the porchlight, and shakes out the towel and sees the curls and swaths of white and dark hair fly out onto the snow and stay there, that he understands something: He's grownup now, a real, grownup, middle-aged man. When he was a boy, going with his dad to the barbershop, or even later, a teenager, how could he have imagined his life would someday allow him the privilege of a beautiful woman to travel with, and sleep with, and take his breakfast with? Not only that - a woman who would quietly cut his hair in the afternoon in a dark city that lay under snow 3000 miles away from where he'd started. A woman who could look at him across the table and say, "It's time to put you in the barber's chair. It's time somebody gave you a haircut."'

A Haircut
by Raymond Carver

i love you seany. happy anniversary.

opinions

i'm thinking about moving to a wordpress site...thoughts?

soundtrack to my life

it's ever-changing. but these days spoon has really been doing it for me. this past thursday kenna and i simply lied down on the floor and listened. we were a little overwhelmed with life. it helped.

hey little girl.

this past may i spent time with my family in california. gwen-scout [my niece] & i spent a lot of time together. we practiced balancing things on her head...she's good. she also spent a good amount of time "riding-like-hell" on a dora the explorer car @ the park in laguna beach. unfortunately, there was no dora car for myself...or i would have raced her. and won.

leave us speachless

poverty. is so hard to see. when it's only on your tv, or twenty miles across town. where we're all livin' so good, that we moved out of Jesus' neighborhood. where's he's hungry and not feelin' so good, from going through our trash. he says more than just your cash and coin i want your time i want your voice, i want the things you just can't give me. so what must we do? here in the west we want to follow you. we speak the language and we keep all the rules, even a few we made up. come on and follow me, but sell your house, sell your SUV, sell your stocks, sell your security, and give it to the poor. well what is this? hey what's the deal? i don't sleep around and i don't steal. but i want the things you just can't give me. i want the things you just can't give me. because of what you do to the least of these, my brothers you have done it to me. because i want the things you just can't give me. i want the things you just can't give me.

rich young ruler
derek webb

scattered, un-developed thoughts.

i really like moleskines.
i enjoyed the fact that my chem II professor recalled our first week of class as a "real killer".
i'm officially ready for fall to begin & for summer to leave.
someone that i worked with today looked at me and said quite enthusiastically, "i'm ready for a monsoon!" i held my tongue and didn't say disgustedly, "what? who says that??"
i think i'm done with, this something...whatever it's been. i'm going to st. john's tomorrow.
today i cursed myself for having cut my hair.
i've been wearing the same glasses since my senior year in high school. they're terrible.
i discovered, only this evening, that my cousin luke has a beard.
i think that i actually dislike cordless phones.
i wish that we lived closer to my brother & his wife & my niece.
i may stop by the kitchen for a croissant tomorrow.
today's been a fairly sad day. i hope that tomorrow is better.

since kindergarten

here's to bath tubs full of jello, to painting play houses, to playing make-believe, to hours of dancing, watching erie indiana & are you afraid of the dark, to swimming & slip-in-slide, summers in the "junk yard" and tumble weed houses. happy belated birthday lildra j, i love the girl you were, i love the woman you have become. it's been quite a ride for eighteen years...here's to eighteen more.

a motion to the floor

i really think that sean should start back up with his typepad site. anyone to second that motion?

also, sadly i did fail to mention that one of my favorite parts of our florida excursion was our time in ybor city, where i watched and listened as sean talked with an 80 year old man from cuba while he rolled cigars. he'd been rolling cigars since he was 14 years old.

withlacoochee & chiggers ... ding. dang. doosie.

i've been trying for weeks to post something about our trip to florida. but there are just no words for our time there.
i hope that these photos give you at least a glimps of our many, many adventures.

like you didn't notice

robert di nero is h-o-t hot in the godfather: part II

what? honestly...a break please. from myself.

earlier in the week i was stalked/almost ran over by a 25 year old hippie driving a brand new audi, which pissed me off on a myriad of levels.
yesterday at work a man dumped the cappuccino i had just made him into the trashcan, brought back the mostly empty cup and told me, "excuse me girl. would you put some foam on this. the other foam had coffee mixed in with it. i don't like brown foam. have you ever made this before?" to which i really wanted to answer, "yes you little shit."
i've been house sitting a lot this summer. this week i managed to lock myself out of the house. car keys, house keys inside. phone inside. dogs & myself outside. the dogs kept giving me a look that i translated to "great. now we're stuck outside with this moron." i spent quite a while contemplating breaking a window before my logical self explained sardonically, "you don't have any money with which to replace said broken window. plus, doubtful you could break it without causing some sever trauma or death to yourself." basically it just ended with me having to go from neighbor to neighbor explaining that i was the brilliant person that locked myself out of the house and "do you happen to have their cell phone number? or a key?" one of my favorite things to do in life. knock on strangers doors to explain my inadequacies in handling even the simplest of tasks.
while on my way to hang out at pekoe & read i was stuck behind someone who had the audacity to place a bumper sticker on their giant SUV that read...and i kid you not..."PROUD PARENT OF A VEGAN HONOR STUDENT". what the? i was extremely tempted to ask the "proud parent" if they thought the lack of protein was responsible for their child's brain power. "you see mom...i got a C in math because i ate the steak last night...if only you would feed me vegan meals."
i've been reading anne lamott for the last few days and today i read, "A woman i know says, for her morning prayer, 'Whatever,' and then for the evening, 'Oh well'". That's about what mine have sounded like lately. I am okay with that right now.

also. a giant boulder fell from the rock barrier that leads down to our front door. it's now been there for days because it's so heavy that sean & our landlord are physically unable to move it. so we've just been stepping/jumping over it to "walk" into our house. clearly amos isn't pleased with the situation either.

summer time

one of many trips to the ballpark this summer. a much needed break from school & work. i love summer.

coming soon...

i'm sure that sean & i will see the new harry potter movie when it comes out. but more importantly we'll probably go with these two....& maybe we'll make him sign autographs.

magic 8 ball

my view as kenna and i played with the cat in our backyard this evening.
preemptive responses to your questions: 1] yes our "yard" is huge. 2] yes, that is part of the pond in said yard. 3] most likely i contracted west nile while taking this picture. when i asked the magic 8 ball, it replied, "Signs Point To Yes", i suppose i can be thankful that the response wasn't "It Is Decidedly So."

the stresses of everyday life

clearly, life's demands have been too much for him lately. keeping up with his bug killing quota has simply taken a toll on his young body...that or he's still wiped out from killing the atomic sized rat.

conundrum

i am part native american. actual part, as in my dad's grandfather was the real deal. my dad & his brothers and sisters used to beg him to do rain dances in their backyard when he would come to visit. my pops is also irish. my mother is english & welsh [& lots of other bits of european i'm sure]. so at times i can't help but think, "am i the oppressor? or the oppressed?" at some point my friend posted about the fact that every white person is an oppressor & a colonizer [that's is badly summarized, read her statement here.]
and ever since i read that post of hers i have thought to myself, "would i say that i am those things?"
i am those things, and i am not those things.