honesty

what the hell do you write about when you have an anniversary? probably you don't start with writing hell. well i suppose you write about how the honeymoon is really over now, or how about you know the person inside and out. i suppose i feel as if the honeymoon is over, i dunno. i'm still happy, what does that mean? i have no answer. i think i like that. i like that i have no answer. i think that's why i hate school. i am completely content to simply have no answer. i think that scares people. they want to know. are they right? are they wrong? who's right and why? why weren't they right? maybe so that they'll be right next time. well this is marriage and unless this guy who sleeps next to me kicks the bucket i don't plan on having a next time, so i'm okay with no answer.
we both had class last night on our anniversary. i got home a little before 930pm. we had popcorn and ice cream and champagne and watch studio 60 on the sunset strip followed by the daily show. i realize this may sound extremely depressing. but it wasn't. i love popcorn and ice cream and champagne and i also love those two shows. i bought sean a bottle of Bodegas LAN Rioja Crianza, and he bought me a subscription to The Atlantic Monthly. probably this weekend we'll do something like go up to the mountains or out to dinner somewhere. but that's really not the point, it's about what is realistic in life at the moment. everyone always talks about how they are sickened by america's overindulgence in life. but they don't live as if they're sickened by it. i'm not saying that i don't fall into that as well. but i love sean and that's what it's about. it's not about the dinner or the expense. or any of that. that's the frill, and if that's what it was all about i wouldn't still be here. i wouldn't have gotten married. it's not about the overindulgence in the expense and the show. it's about what's real and what's honest. if i honestly love this man and he honestly loves me i don't care what we're eating or what we're wearing while eating it. sean always says, "someday we'll look back on these days and laugh" and i hope not. i hope we look back on these days and are sweetly reminded of the lovely honesty of life. maybe that's what you write about on an anniversary. honesty.