28 August 2004


when i woke up this morning it was raining. a cold fall rain. it was beautiful. i enjoyed the change of pace it brought to work...watching people as they order their comfort drinks, hot chocolates and just simple plain coffee. it's different living in a place that seems to have skipped summer all together this year.

tonight sean and i spent time with friends. our good friend mark is leaving tomorrow, it was good to see him. i know that mark has the ability to breathe life back into sean like few other people do. he seems to add peace to sean's ever worrying heart. i am glad that mark came at a time when sean needed him.

27 August 2004

to love...

sean (my fiance) and i accomplished many tasks left to do for our upcoming wedding, and were able to spend the whole day together. it's been almost two weeks since we've been able to have time together so today was a gift. the past couple days have been hard for me, and i've been difficult to deal with. tuesday i lost it and sat in my house with the dog and cried. i was frustrated with myself. there are so many things to remember right now, and inevitably i forget things.

i've felt so inadequate at times. but sean has abundant grace flowing from him. he's been working two jobs, 70+ hour weeks. so that we can pay our bills, and just make it by. i'm only working 35-40 hour weeks, and can't seem to get the (soon to be OUR) new house in order, or wash my own clothes.... yet he finds time to cook me dinner, take the dog on runs, organize and alphabetize our books, find music for our ceremony, mow the lawn, etc, etc, etc. i am truly blessed. i feel so honored every day that this man of God asked me to marry him.

today i missed my friend josh haas. i miss his honesty and laughter in my life. what a gift his friendship has been/is in my life.

kenna (a 2.5 year old border collie) is waiting for me to settle into bed. i am glad she is here with me tonight.