23 January 2007


honestly. nothing to write. but really, truly, honestly i have fixed the commenting problem. i think.

18 January 2007


iTunes has apparently shut itself down on our computer. fabulous. so i went looking for another musical device so that i could get some inspiration for writing something of interest. i didn't find anything of interest, however i did find myself.
my iPod was in my purse, inside my bag. however to get there i pulled out a scarf, gloves still covered with london grime, umbrella, bags of unopened tea, sunglasses, a bag of peanuts, regular glasses with an old outdated prescription, tampons, chemistry textbook, planner, bottle of gatorade
, notebooks, endless amounts of chapsticks, two novels, my lab manual...it doesn't really end. as i sat on the floor with this surrounding me i thought, "this is me." like bits of me just landed abruptly and unceremoniously on the floor.
don't confuse this with being prepared. this afternoon i arrived for chemistry and realized that i hadn't brought any paper. which if you're being honest just really makes you think, "well shit." never mind the fact that i had the means to make hot tea, or have a delightful snack, or fully prepared for another freak blizzard. but paper? for my five hour chemistry class. no. that i don't have. so i look at the poor sap sitting next to me. it's at this point that i find myself thinking "someday. somday i'll be the one that has it all together. but today, is the day i ask for paper."
man, i mean you would think that simply by freak mathematical probability that eventually i would have to arrive a put together person every once in a while. the upside. it's thursday. my favorite day. thursdays mean the weekend. thursdays mean drinks and dinner with amanda and ross. they include dogs running a muck in the house, and the office and grey's. laughter and games. i like thursdays. there are many parts of my life that are creating a horrid tightening & churning of my stomach as of late. but thursdays....they're better.

11 January 2007

an apology and kind of a funk

first off. i'm not sure what was happening with the comments on my blog, but i feel i have fixed the problem. i hope. we'll see. here is my formal apology for the lack of your ability to comment on my blog. i hope in the future to operate in a much more professional manner.

today we are going down to denver. i have nothing to do down there but sean is going to talk to his chemistry professor about doing research or something. i plan to wonder around downtown probably stop at a coffee shop, or bookstore and mill about aimlessly.
today has been quiet. i woke up to the dog eating cookies. obviously that wasn't supposed to happen. then i made myself breakfast. a fried egg sandwich, coffee and a bellini. and ate it while watching
life aquatic.
i wish i had something moving to write about, or even something interesting. but i'm feeling drained today. not empty or depressed, just drained.
last night i sat on our kitchen chair staring into the fridge trying to figure out something to eat for dinner. sean walked in, kinda smiled and said, "oh no, you're demoralized" i felt demoralized.
so here's to today. here's hoping that it's better than yesterday.
"if i was cyring, in the van, with my friend, it was for freedom. from myself and from the land. i made a lot of mistakes. i made of lot of mistakes."

the examples given for labels for this post are "e.g. scooters, vacation, fall" most making sense. but scooters? i mean i publish a lot of completely inane posts, but
scooters. i haven't gotten to that point yet. a whole post about scooters...man, i don't even know where to start with that.

09 January 2007

because growing up is scary.

i don't hope that one day i could write this well. i am simply thankful that this woman can write so well. so very very thankful.

From "The House on Mango Street" by Sandra Cisneros
chapter: The Family of Little Feet
"Hurray! Today we are Cinderella because our feet fit exactly, and we laugh at Rachel's one foot with a girl's grey sock and a lady's high heel. Do you like these shoes? But the truth is it is scarey to look down at your foot that is no longer yours and see attached a long long leg."

it seems so inadequate. but all i can say is, me too....me too.